If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen that you blatantly copied. Where should you go? Maybe not the kids’ bedroom, which you also copied.
Cheating scandals are synonymous with all reality shows. On Married At First Sight, this usually involves a bogan hooking up with an influencer who’s not the fitfluencer he’s married to.
On My Kitchen Rules, it may involve a couple using some kind of KanTong marinade from a jar.
But cheating on The Block is more sinister and involves perhaps the most heinous of crimes: stealing interior design ideas. There really should be a true crime podcast about it.
Only a low-life would have the gall to steal aesthetically pleasing home design concepts.
That’s what The Block contestants Luke and Jasmin were accused of this week.
Even as a global pandemic rages on, it’s so wonderful that we all found time to nationally shame a couple for pilfering decor ideas off Pinterest.
It all started with a kids’ bedroom they revealed – it wowed the judges and earned a perfect score plus $10,000.
But then viewers noticed it was a total rip-off of a bedroom from a famous Byron Bay Airbnb. So of course Shaynna Blaze marched back to confront them and explain the difference between inspiration and stealing. (Side note: I’d watch an entire show of Shaynna Blaze just walking around town criticising things.)
Now it has come out Luke and Jasmin also copied another couple’s weird-shaped kitchen island benchtop. The fallout continues tonight.
Just wow. Kids’ bedrooms and kitchen island benchtops are the hot button topics in Australia right now.
The backlash got so wild Luke and Jasmin had to delete their Facebook and restrict comments on their Instagram. They’d never survive on the Kmart mum Facebook groups – where members share photos of their budget home revamps.
Those Kmart mums are vicious and the comments sections get messy – it’s like Fight Club but with throw pillows and craft projects.
It’s not the first time copycats have been exposed on The Block. There was an identical incident a few years ago where a couple got busted copying a children’s bedroom from a professional interior designer’s Instagram. They also got dragged on the internet for the offence.
This crime wave of interior design thefts points to a larger issue. Well two.
Firstly, why the hell do kids need such fancy damn bedrooms? Hilary Duff’s house was in Architectural Digest this week and her kid has his own personal slippery slide winding down from the ceiling like it’s a McDonald’s playground.
The other issue is impostor syndrome. Remember when impostor syndrome was a thing? People who worked diligently for decades in their chosen profession and excelled on merit were plagued by the feeling they were a big fat phony.
These days, apparently the goal is to be as big of an impostor as possible.
Hard work is too hard. Refining your skills takes too long. And starting at the bottom doesn’t allow for good selfie opportunities.
Everyone wants to achieve their dreams instantly and with minimal effort. There are people running around calling themselves professional photographers and interior designers and chefs and lifestyle coaches and business moguls just because they’ve got an internet connection and an Instagram account.
Why build skill when you can just pretend?
Success and longevity in any industry usually requires a secret sauce. The ingredients are talent and hard work. And it doesn’t come in a KanTong jar.
NEWTON’S LAW OF COOLNESS
It’s a scientific law that Lenny Kravitz can literally do the most ridiculous thing while still looking immensely cool.
In fact, just when you think he can’t get any cooler, he goes and does something so ridiculous his coolness suddenly skyrockets to levels no one knew existed.
Exhibit A: His Men’s Health cover.
On the cover of the latest issue, Lenny’s pictured walking shirtless down a beach wearing flared jeans and a statement belt while holding a stand up paddle board.
Yes, he looks incredibly cool. And yes, if anyone else ran along the beach in a pair of flared jeans with a kayak they’d just look like an idiot and probably be turned into a meme.
You better believe the accompanying magazine article is just as satisfying as the image.
It breezily informs us that, at the beginning of the pandemic, Lenny ditched his 1920s house in Paris’s 16th Arrondissement to go live in an Airstream trailer on the island of Eleuthera in the Bahamas – landing with only “a few pairs of jeans in a weekend bag”. He has now been there for months.
Let’s all wear our flares down to Coogee today. Airstream trailers optional.
Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir